From: Luther Rachel
To: Dedmond Betty; Hildebrand Tracy; Ligon Grant; Tenholder Anne; Boese Liz
Subject: FW:  A soap SOAP
Date: Wednesday, July 17, 1996 12:14PM


 ----------
From: Nash William
To: Abarelli Michael; Albright Todd(Atlanta); Bailey Kristen;
Boatright Brenda; Boltin Matt; Carman Craig; Eisenbach Rob; Foster
Stephanie; Harden Gregg(Atlanta MC ); Little Wade; Luther Rachel;
Moncrief Marel; Rothstein Marc; Rowles Carolyn; Russell Scott; Santa
Maria Lori; Scherer Kim; Stafford Donald; Skinner Kelly; McDonel
Laura; Tracy Steven K.; Doyle Elsa; Bruton Todd; Khushalani Samir;
Scimeca Cheryl; Weir Philip; Scales Dean; Bouck Jennifer; Sheridan
Tim; King Jack T.; Pike Edward
Subject: FW:  A soap SOAP
Date: Wednesday, July 17, 1996 9:15AM


 ----------
From: Smith Laurie J.
To: Naidu Ravi; Nash William; Shortt Thomas H.; Ballent Paul; Bianchi
Kathy; Costello Robert; Gery James; Rabinowitz Benjamin; Unger
Kathleen; Black Tracy; Duenas Elizabeth; Fink John @ Chicago; McBride
Susan; Miller Daniel; Walsh Eileen; S/WMC Education Coord.; Elliott
John C; Goldfine Howard; Rodgers Greg; Albers Amy; Ellison Phyllis;
Fleming Timothy; Holohan Barth; Rueve Teresa; Scott Erin; Tucker
Julie; Walters Lucinda; Winfield Ivan
Subject:  A soap SOAP
Date: Tuesday, July 16, 1996 8:27PM

For all of you travelers...you should be able to relate!!!!!!!

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a
London hotel's staff and one of its guests.  The London hotel
involved submitted this to the Sunday Times.  No name was mentioned.

   WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE "FREE" SOAPS WHEN TRAVELING
   ******************************************************

Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial.  Please remove
the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest
and another three in the shower soap dish.  They are in my way.
Thank you,
                                         S. Berman

 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid.  She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from
her day off.  I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as
you requested.  The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and
put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your
mind.  This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions
from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily.
I hope this is satisfactory.
                                         Kathy, Relief Maid

 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the
little bars of soap.  When I got back to my room this evening I found
you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet.
I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my
own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on
the shelf.  They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.
Please remove them.
                                         S. Berman

 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which
we are instructed by the management.  I took the 6 soaps which were in
your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial
was.  I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience.
I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed
inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did
not object to when you checked in last Monday.  Please let me
know if I can of further assistance.
                                         Your regular maid,
                                         Dotty

 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you
called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid
service.  I have assigned a new girl to your room.  I hope you will
accept my apologies for any past inconvenience.  If you have any
future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal
attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.  Thank you.
                                         Elaine Carmen
                                         Housekeeper

 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for
business at 745 AM and don't get back before 530 or 6PM.  That's the
reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night.  You were already off duty.
I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little
bars of soap.  The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a
new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my
medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the
bath-room shelf.  In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little
bars of soap.  Why are you doing this to me?
                                         S. Berman

 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your
room and remove the extra soaps.  If I can be of further assistance,
please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.  Thank you,
                                         Elaine Carmen,
                                         Housekeeper

 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------
      Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing.  Every bar of soap was taken from my
room including my own bath-size Dial.  I came in late last night and
had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
                                         S. Berman

 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem.
I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids
are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room.
The situation will be rectified immediately.  Please accept my
apologies for the inconvenience.
                                 Martin L. Kensedder
                                               Assistant Manager

 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room?  I came in last
night and found 54 little bars of soap.  I don't want 54 little bars
of Camay.  I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial.  Do you realize I
have 54 bars of soap in here.  All I want is my bath size Dial.
Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
                                         S. Berman

 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed.
Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so
I personally returned them.  The 24 Camays which had been taken and
the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic).  I don't know
anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets.  Obviously your maid, Kathy,
did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays
plus the 3 daily Camays.  I don't know where you got the idea this
hotel issues bath-size Dial.  I was able to locate some bath-size
Ivory which I left in your room.
                                         Elaine Carmen
                                         Housekeeper

 - ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory.
As of today I possess:

 - - On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of
  4 and 1 stack of 2.
 - - On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1
  stack of 3.
 - - On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1
  stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
 - - Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1
  stack of 2.
 - - In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
 - - On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
 - - On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are
neatly piled and dusted.  Also, please advise her that stacks of more
than 4 have a tendency to tip.  May I suggest that my bedroom window
sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap
deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized
Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further
misunderstandings.
                                           S. Berman



"I am a Ph.D. student (pronounce: ``prisoner'')" - Thomer M. Gil



"Soul Vacation" -Train or Incubus or somebody

"I am the Lorax.  I speak for the trees."	-Dr. Suess

"Please, please don't squish the butterflies." 	-me

"Be tough yet gentle, humble yet bold, swayed always by beauty and truth."

"His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpands in a dryer without Cling Free."


"You must learn to have a good laugh at yourself when you make a mistake."  -Archie Fire Lame Deer	

"You must fly as high as the eagle, and crowl as low as the worm."     -Archie Fire Lame Deer

"I hold you and name you bastard in my arms."  -Anne Sexton "Unknown Girl in a Maternity Ward"

"Happiness is ilke a butterfly
The more you chase it, the more it will elude you.
But if you turn your attention to other things,
It comes and softly sits on your shoulder."

"My name is Boese, 'B' as in 'Boese'".  -me
"Will they serve me alcohol if I'm coloring?"  - me

"A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to atheism, But depth in philosophy bringeth men's minds about to religion."	-Francis Bacon

"Anatidaephobia:  The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you."  -Larson

"Can I be as still and silent as the desert?"	-me

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge
That myth is more potent that history.
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts -
That hope always triumphs over experience -
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death."	-Robert Fulghum


"In Germany they first came for the Communists,
 and I didn't speak up because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews,
 and I didn't speak up because I wasn’t a Jew.
Then they came for the trade unionists
 and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics,
 and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me,
 and by that time there was no one left to speak up for me."	-Martin Niemoeller   German Lutheran Pastor

"Parting is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell." -Emily Dickinson

"All men die, not all men really live."  - William Wallace

"Politics.  From the greek poly, meaning many, and ticks, a small,
annoying bloodsucker."

"When he renounces all desires
and acts without craving,
possessiveness,
or individuality, he finds peace."  - The Bhagavad-Gita

"It's hard to think of you as the end result of millions of years of evolution.

"Real programmers write self-modifying code."

"May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts."

"We have quit learning if we don't feel a little more ignorant every day."

"You cannot sum up life in a sentence."	-Keven D.

"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree,
is by accident.  That's where we come in; we're computer professionals.
We cause accidents."
                -- Nathaniel Borenstein

""You love what you find time for."
the greatest love is shown when a person lays down his life for his friends.”      -John 15:13


Now when I talked to God, I knew He'd understand, he said, stick by me and 
I'll be your guiding hand... but don't ask me what I think of you, 
I might not give the answer you want me too...	-Velcro
God put me here with certain things to do and right now I'm so far behind, I'll probably never die.” 	-Calvin
If you don't understand my silence, you will not understand my words.
Even barbarians like choclate chip cookies.
Remember that you are unique.  Just like everyone else.
Excellent day for putting slinkies on an escalator.
Remember, even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat.

"I am Pentium of Borg.  Division is futile.  You will be approximated."

In 1492, Columbus didn't know where he was going, had a mutinous crew and was entirely dependent on borrowed money.  Today he’d be a political candidate.”  -Orben’s Current Comedy

"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."
                -- George Carlin

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.		-Mae West
Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can't answer.	   -Helen Lesman
Ah, the life of a frog; that's the life for me.	-Bart in Crepes of Wrath
If you can't convince them, confuse them.		-Harry S. Truman
That which does not destroy me makes me stronger.	-Nietzsche
 We are all prodigys, we artists.	-Thomas Mann
I think that I shall never see, a poem as lovely as a tree.	-Joyce Kilmer

Responsible is Able to Respond
Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
Everything in this book may be wrong.
	-Richard Bach  _Illusions_

You're business is not to get somewhere - it is to be here.
Happiness = Satisfaction / Desires
Stay in the present.  You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for.”
To see where something leads, it is best to wait until you reach the end.
Fear and sorrow inhibit action; anger generates it.
The way to control your emotions is to let them flow then let them go.
On some of your weakest physical days you can learn the most about your mind.
		-Dan Millman _Way of the Peaceful Warrior_


"Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain
each day, expressed in M&M's:  250." - Harper's Index, Oct 1989


"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth
 to a child.  She must be found and stopped."
                -- Sam Levenson (1911-1980)

"I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the 
prescription ran out."  - Steven Wright

"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included." -Steven Wright

"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding,
he sings." - Ed Gardner

"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened."

"It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be going up it."

"I've heard snappier comebacks from a bowl of Rice Krispies." - Charles Emerson Winchester III

"As so often happens with 'missing links', when there are few
bones there is a lot of imagination, but when there ar ea lot of bones
it becomes clear that they belong to either a human or an ape."
-Creation ex nihilio, Sep-Nov 1996, p.8

"An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you just found out."  -Will Rogers

"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing."  -Redd Fox

"I like life.  It's something to do." - Ronnie Shakes

"Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo." -Robert Byrne

"Go, and never darken my towels again."  -Groucho Marx

"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change colar and fall from the trees."  -David Letterman

"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon."  -Susan Ertz

"I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence."  -Gary Trudeau

"It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kasas City in order to be unhappy."  -Groucho Marx

"If there is no God, who pops up the next kleenex?"  -Art Hope

"If I were 2-faced, would I be wearing this one?"  -Abraham Lincoln

"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke." -Herman Hesse!!!

"Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born."  -Ronald Reagan



"Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain
each day, expressed in M&M's:  250." - Harper's Index, Oct 1989

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth
 to a child.  She must be found and stopped."
                -- Sam Levenson (1911-1980)

Thoughts for today:

"I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the 
prescription ran out."  - Steven Wright

"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included." -Steven Wright

"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding,
he sings." - Ed Gardner

QUOTE TO LIVE BY FOR TODAY: Monday, October 21, 1996, 20th Century
"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened."


"If I were a painter, I'd paint that picture just to see if the girl in
the doorway would turn out to be me." -Pam Houston in "Cowboys are my Weakness"

"IS 'happy' the appropriate epithet for someone who experiences each
moment as if he were being alternately flayed alive and ticked to death?"
-Pam Houston

"The vector of my movement from any given point is isotropic -
meaning that all possible directions are equally probable." 
-Mark Leyner "I was an Infinitely Hot and Dense Dot."

"I hate the empty moment before emotion clarifies itself." 
-Dale Peck "Fucking Martin"

"He wasn't trying to recapture his past - merely to validate its existence."
-Dale Peck

"...but by accelerating the tempo of existence it might rob the people
of their peace and leisure."  -"Seven Years in Tibet"


"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."  
         - Thomas Alva Edison


In The Hacker's Dictionary, 
In the current version (4.2.3) of JARGON.TXT, we find: 

	recursion n.   See recursion. See also tail recursion.

	tail recursion n.   If you aren't sick of it already, see tail recursion. 


Common LISP: The Language by Guy L. Steele (Second Edition, Digital Press, 1990) 
The index includes an entry for kludges, pointing to pages 1-971 --
                                                       namely, the whole book.